Thursday, July 30, 2009

A Thousand Words Thursday.... "'Coz We're Rebels Like That" Edition

I can't imagine where she gets her blatant disregard for posted directives....

Cheaper Than Therapy

Friday, July 24, 2009

In case you were MISTAKENLY under the impression that I am anything less than the world's biggest dork:

I'll say it up front: I don't get out much.  (And, I mean that in about as many ways as it can be taken.)  It's not that I don't do stuff- I do alot of stuff, like dishes and diapers and grocery shopping- it's just that when I get out of the house, it is with two babies in tow, and there is generally somewhere in the vicinity ZERO adult interaction.

So imagine my giddy-ness [see also: shreeky, jumping up-and-down-ness] at the events in my life that have occurred over the last week.
Enter Wayne and Garth with the flashback: "doo-dul-lee-doo"*

Scene: Last Thursday/Farmer's Market Park/Playground- As I approach the playground (eagerly scanning for potential victims, kindred spirits.... ummm... someone to talk to) I noticed a very  nice looking young mother of two, with a blanket spread out for her baby, engaging with her older son as he maneuvered the play structure.

Me: (moving more quickly, now eager to gain further intel on the subject. Should I duck behind a tree to don the camo gear, the black ninja suit, begin immediate wire tapping?  No, play this one cool- be normal.  JUST.ACT.NORMAL...)  (nonchalantly, with a smile) Hi, there."  (quick! look away!  Don't seem too interested!)
Her: "Hi."

Me: (minutes are passing- oh gawd, now what!?!... um... think, think.... oh yeah, she's got kids- me too!... that's something in common!...) "How old's this little cutie?"
Her: "He's 6 months old today."

Me: (Squeeeeeeeee!!!  JUST LIKE CARTER!!  OMFG!...) Cooly: "Oh, my son is seven months old today.  How fun!"
Her: "..." (I don't actually remember what she said here because I was too busy making us BFF's, and marrying off my daughter to her oldest son, and wondering if she'd be the type to get all up in the planning of a wedding, coz "Bee-atch, that's the M.O.B.'s job!".... wait, what?!)

Conversation continued: It was awesome, She was awesome, I was, fully and dramatically, NOT awesome.  But, conversation continued to continue, despite my social ineptitude.  Names were exchanged... Cute quips about failed mommy groups were exchanged... life stories were exchanged.... And then-We.Exchanged.Phone.Numbers!**

Me:  (clutching my phone to my chest as if it all of a sudden contained a treasure map to the land of '' )  "It was really great to meet you, Awesome New BFF!"*** (oh my gawd, now what? When do I call?  Wait a week? Two days? Now? No.. I should probably not call her until I'm at least out of sight.... akkkk, the stress....) "See you later."
Her: "Bye, Courtney!" (she used my name, *sniff*)

This week I called her- we're going to have a play-date!  EEEeeeeekkkkk.... ****
*Extra points for having any idea to what I am referring... Double extra points if you can find a video clip - I could not.
** This is a seriously big deal- I mean, this is big-time mommy-friending action!  We're talking third base, people.  I was getting a little clammy... *blush*
***Names have been changed to protect the innocent
**** Dear Awesome New BFF***, If you are reading this- I am TOTALLY not one of those weird, mommy-stalking lame-o's that writes blog posts about virtual strangers.  nope. definitely not.  

As if all that wasn't enough awesome to fill up the whole summer (and it absolutely IS!), I was (in a totally unrelated twist of events) invited to a "Girl's Night!"
And I went!
And drank wine.
And talked about children, instead of to children.  And there were women there.  Smart, cool, 'popular-crowd'-type women who have jobs and kids and brains.  And we had conversations (containing many, many, FULL-sentences - none of which were interrupted by screaming babies with the sole mission of causing mommy-brain-melt!)
It was blissful.  I stayed out past my bedtime. And then drove myself home- IN THE DARK.  (Shut-up. It's all, you know, babies and daylight savings time, etc. ).  I'm pretty sure the invitation was a fluke- but I don't care.  It was wonderful- And now I bet they'll feel bad if they don't invite me again, so .... SCORE!!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Thousand Words Thursday... "Gag Me" Edition

Cheaper Than Therapy

Sometimes I just can't get over this family of mine. I am so lucky.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Them There Eyes....


Monday, July 20, 2009

Acceptance Speech: "I'd like to thank the little people..."

This is so unexpected... 
I haven't prepared anything....  
First I'd like to thank my husband for his endless understanding of my faceblogittermomitis (look it up, it's a real thing).  Then I'd like to thank my children for the endless material...
But mostly I'd like to thank Christen over at La Vida Lista for bestowing upon me this very prestigious* blog award!  Christen, you have officially knocked my socks off!!  Thank you, Lady!


*okay- perhaps "prestigious" is a bit of an overstatement- but this is my big moment! I mean, with this kind of recognition I could do the impossible; become Evolving Mommy's BFF, babysit for Dooce, or even start a book club with Amalah... riiiiiiiiiiighhhhtt.  (But a girl can dream).

Anywhoo- Here's the redtape.  
1.  In accepting this award, I am to pass it along to another deserving blogger. 

 I hereby proclaim Dumb Mom at  Parenting BY Dummies to be the queen of the internet (a privilege of receiving this kick-ass award (or so I've just decided!))!  She has been rocking my world since I found her, not long ago.  Here you go, Dumb Mom!!

2.  I am, also, to tell you some interesting tidbits about myself :
  •  I am a big, no -giant nerd.  I like books, and hanging out with my kids, and I think I just met a friend at the park the other day- but I'm afraid to call her.
  • I want to be Donna Reed when I grow up.
  • I am in no way interesting.  at all. period.
  • see above.
That is all.  I am off to bask in my own awesomeness... or whatever.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

VACATION FAIL 2K9 -or- How Naptime Thwarted My Vacation

The Plan: Spend a luxiourious 4 weeks in Country Club Heaven, all the while relaxing at the pool, strolling along the beach, and sipping alcohol-drenched frozed drinks with tiny little umbrellas.

The Reality: eh. not so much.

I had every intention of wisking my family away from the hustle and bustle of suburbia (ha!) for a relaxing month in sunny Florida. Arrangements had been made such that Patton would be able to "work remotley" for a week, then take a second week for vacation. I had convinced my mom to extend her stay, so that when Pat returned home to work, the babies and I could remain for another sun-filled and glorious two weeks. The mental preparation was extreme. The packing was insane.  The amount of newly purchased sun-blocking-uv-filtering-keep-my-kids-out-of-the-sun-whilst-we're-in-the-sun gear was staggering.

*Editor's Note: In the interest in keeping things brief... well-manageable... well- more novella than epic tale- I've decided to take the cheap way out and simply list the atrocities in chronological order.  This way we can all move on to more exciting things and leave this mess behind us.  You're welcome.

Vacation Fail #1: For the purpose of preserving baby schedules, we decided to begin our 10, um 12, yea THIRTEEN+ hour car trip at 11 o'clock am.  We figured this would allow for maximum nappage and night-time sleep in the car, while still allowing for activity time.  Quick math puts us at our destination well past 1am- with two babies whose schedules were NOTHING resembling preserved. Add also- setting up beds, and oh yes, getting a toddler to sleep in a completely unfamiliar place after 13 hours in the car= NOT.SO.MUCH [read: FAIL]

Vacation Fail #2: We signed Sophia up for swimming lessons (more accurately infant water survival) withISR (truely an awesome company, seriously).  Conveniently, our lessons were to start the first Monday of our vacation.  The aforementioned late night arrival was (wait for it...) actually in the wee hours of our first Monday morning.  Let's take a quick moment to talk about how toddlers, who have very limited experience with pools, and who have to be woken early, from very limited sleep after a long LOOOOONNNGGG day in the car, do not so much like to be dunked in the water by a strange lady.   This one gets filed under both Vacation Fail and Parenting Fail.  I suck. 

Vacation Fail #C:  This may be a continuation of the previous- but just for emphasis it gets it's own paragraph.  We spent the subsequent two days trying DESPERATELY to get Sofie anywhere close to the water. Not surprisingly, Sofs wanted no part of getting in the water, with anyone. period.   [Bright Side: eventually she was coaxed into the pool and ended up loving it so much that we had a hard time getting her out of the water without bribes of food and/or sleep]

Vacation Fail #the next:  {Spoiler Alert!!} Vacationing with children is not even a little bit like real vacationing. Not at all.  There was a whole lot of errand running and napping and acclimation that somehow took precedence over all of that dirty fun-having we had planned. We spent a solid three days at the beach before ever actually getting to the beach.  And just for good measure, our first ocean side "experience" was all of 20 minutes long before Carter decided it was time for a nap (foreshadowing) and NO, the beach is no place for napping- don't be ridiculous.

Vacation Fail #80frillion: Apparently, just because my son has, up to this point, been an expert 'sleeper of naps whilst out and about', does in no way suggest that he will nap at all-anywhere-but in the back room of our condo while on vacation.  FAaaaaaaIiiiiiiiiiiiiLlll....

Vacation Fail #80frillion and a half: Also, because we're having so much fun already, naps for both of my children went from a nice predictable 2 hours in the afternoon to!

Vacation Fail #80frilion & 3/4: The three hour napping, every hour and a half, for each child was OF COURSE perfectly timed such that neither of them was awake at the same time. at all. ever*.  

Vacation Fail #80frillion and 1: As a result of the aforementioned complete lack of predictability, Patton or I spent every moment between the hours of 8a and 4p in the house (with no pool) with one sleeping baby or another.  Which subsequently meant that he and I were able to spend very little time together.  boo.  

The solution= pack it up and head on home.  We made it 12 days.

Vacation 0; Babies 1

*any photo depicting more than one child awake at a time is a result of a tireless Photoshop effort- memories people... posterity and such.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Good to be back

Welp- we're home.  early. VERY early, from our planned month-long vacation.  Despite the logistical nightmare that was our abbreviated trip to Florida, I'm very happy to be back.  There are changes a brewin' and I can't wait to get back to a more regular schedule with more regular posting.  I've got lots to update on this here blog, but even more to unpack- so for now, the teaser...

Stay tuned for the details of Vacation Fail- 2k9*

*I'm sure you'll be shocked to learn the perfect angles pictured above are actually alien changelings from the  planet ohmygawdineedanothernapRIGHTTHISMINUTE sent to foil any and all attempts at surf, sand or sun.  But more on that later.

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