Wednesday, July 15, 2009

VACATION FAIL 2K9 -or- How Naptime Thwarted My Vacation

The Plan: Spend a luxiourious 4 weeks in Country Club Heaven, all the while relaxing at the pool, strolling along the beach, and sipping alcohol-drenched frozed drinks with tiny little umbrellas.

The Reality: eh. not so much.

I had every intention of wisking my family away from the hustle and bustle of suburbia (ha!) for a relaxing month in sunny Florida. Arrangements had been made such that Patton would be able to "work remotley" for a week, then take a second week for vacation. I had convinced my mom to extend her stay, so that when Pat returned home to work, the babies and I could remain for another sun-filled and glorious two weeks. The mental preparation was extreme. The packing was insane.  The amount of newly purchased sun-blocking-uv-filtering-keep-my-kids-out-of-the-sun-whilst-we're-in-the-sun gear was staggering.

*Editor's Note: In the interest in keeping things brief... well-manageable... well- more novella than epic tale- I've decided to take the cheap way out and simply list the atrocities in chronological order.  This way we can all move on to more exciting things and leave this mess behind us.  You're welcome.

Vacation Fail #1: For the purpose of preserving baby schedules, we decided to begin our 10, um 12, yea THIRTEEN+ hour car trip at 11 o'clock am.  We figured this would allow for maximum nappage and night-time sleep in the car, while still allowing for activity time.  Quick math puts us at our destination well past 1am- with two babies whose schedules were NOTHING resembling preserved. Add also- setting up beds, and oh yes, getting a toddler to sleep in a completely unfamiliar place after 13 hours in the car= NOT.SO.MUCH [read: FAIL]

Vacation Fail #2: We signed Sophia up for swimming lessons (more accurately infant water survival) withISR (truely an awesome company, seriously).  Conveniently, our lessons were to start the first Monday of our vacation.  The aforementioned late night arrival was (wait for it...) actually in the wee hours of our first Monday morning.  Let's take a quick moment to talk about how toddlers, who have very limited experience with pools, and who have to be woken early, from very limited sleep after a long LOOOOONNNGGG day in the car, do not so much like to be dunked in the water by a strange lady.   This one gets filed under both Vacation Fail and Parenting Fail.  I suck. 

Vacation Fail #C:  This may be a continuation of the previous- but just for emphasis it gets it's own paragraph.  We spent the subsequent two days trying DESPERATELY to get Sofie anywhere close to the water. Not surprisingly, Sofs wanted no part of getting in the water, with anyone. period.   [Bright Side: eventually she was coaxed into the pool and ended up loving it so much that we had a hard time getting her out of the water without bribes of food and/or sleep]

Vacation Fail #the next:  {Spoiler Alert!!} Vacationing with children is not even a little bit like real vacationing. Not at all.  There was a whole lot of errand running and napping and acclimation that somehow took precedence over all of that dirty fun-having we had planned. We spent a solid three days at the beach before ever actually getting to the beach.  And just for good measure, our first ocean side "experience" was all of 20 minutes long before Carter decided it was time for a nap (foreshadowing) and NO, the beach is no place for napping- don't be ridiculous.

Vacation Fail #80frillion: Apparently, just because my son has, up to this point, been an expert 'sleeper of naps whilst out and about', does in no way suggest that he will nap at all-anywhere-but in the back room of our condo while on vacation.  FAaaaaaaIiiiiiiiiiiiiLlll....

Vacation Fail #80frillion and a half: Also, because we're having so much fun already, naps for both of my children went from a nice predictable 2 hours in the afternoon to!

Vacation Fail #80frilion & 3/4: The three hour napping, every hour and a half, for each child was OF COURSE perfectly timed such that neither of them was awake at the same time. at all. ever*.  

Vacation Fail #80frillion and 1: As a result of the aforementioned complete lack of predictability, Patton or I spent every moment between the hours of 8a and 4p in the house (with no pool) with one sleeping baby or another.  Which subsequently meant that he and I were able to spend very little time together.  boo.  

The solution= pack it up and head on home.  We made it 12 days.

Vacation 0; Babies 1

*any photo depicting more than one child awake at a time is a result of a tireless Photoshop effort- memories people... posterity and such.


The Redhead Riter said...

I ♥ your comment about photoshopping the kids. It won't be long before they all go to school and there will be SILENCE all day. You may think that is a LOVELY thing, but it isn' least it isn't for me. My daughter is 16 now and I MISS HER BEING LITTLE AND NEEDING ME THAT way.

I CRACKED UP so hard at your "pun intended" comment about "nude George" on my blog with all the white stuff!

PS It has taken me so many tries to figure out how to leave you a comment! The comment screen covers your verification password and there isn't a scroll bar. I've never seen any like this before, but what I did was TAB and it worked this morning! I even wrote an email to SITS to see if they had your email so they could send you a note! You might rethink putting an email on your account in case your comments don't work and someone wants to let you know...just a thought. Emails are SO FREE now :o)

Have a great day and thanks for visiting my blog!

parentingBYdummies said...

And, this is why I don't go on vacation. Not really, but it's one of the reasons. And, we live in Frederick County, but Hubby works in DC. Long commute, but we really like it out here:)

Transparent Mama said...

You are so hilarious. I remember those days. Just know that this is temporary and it gets SO much easier when they are 5 and older, even when you have younger ones too because then the older ones help with the little ones. Thanks for the comment love on my blog.

Christen said...

Ha ha ha- you poor thing!! I think you definitely deserve a "you" day sometime soon!!

Christen said...

Oh, and I loved the tally at the end of your post!

Trip: 0


Christen said...

This "fail" was sooo funny:

"{Spoiler Alert!!} Vacationing with children is not even a little bit like real vacationing. Not at all."

The Redhead Riter said...

Thanks for visiting and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Stopping by from SITS to share the blog ♥ !

Have a great Saturday!

Anonymous said...

ROFL! Oh man... I feel your pain. I remember taking my 4 month old twins to Hawaii to visit grandma and grandpa. There was LOTS of vacation fail!

Like Transparent Mama said, though, it will get better. Just wait a couple of years, and you won't be able to KEEP them out of the pool, while you sit poolside with one of those frosted drinks...sigh...wish I was there myself ;)

(here via sits)

Anonymous said...

Also, I was about to give up on commenting as I was having such a hard time. Luckily I read a previous comment which mentions using tabs. You might want to see if you can't make it easier on people. Usually blogspot isn't this difficult.

Just a thought!

Courtney D said...

Thanks for all the comment love, ladies. I'm working on fixing the comment form! I appreciate your persistence!

Momma G.Love said...

Too funny! We just got back from vacation ourselves, but we didn't have quite as many fails. But I feel your pain.

...stopping by from SITS...

Christen said...

Sorry for posting three whole times. My post didn't show up right away and I thought that they hadn't gone through properly.

On a separate note, I have a little something for you on my blog:
have a good day!

confused homemaker said...

After vacation with the kids, Hubby & I joke we need a vacation alone just to rest up from the family vacation. It's gotten easier each time but there's always something that goes horribly awry.

One Sassy Girl said...

Your family is adorable and while I want to pinch those cheeks like crazy, your post just served as an incredibly effective form of birth control. I looovvvveee to vacation and may opt to do it sans kids for a while longer!

Blog Template by Delicious Design Studio