Sunday, December 20, 2009

Ketchup, No. Catsup, No. Catch-up. There it is...

I have totally slacked off this last week with the posting.  So, here you will find my lame-ass attempt to turn my homework in late for reduced credit, play catch up by compiling 5 days worth of stuff into one disjointed post.

Days 15-20 of the 25 days: I promise, it's almost over!

So, where did I leave off- ah, yes.  The boy's birthday party.  It was wonderful. I still have not gotten around to the thank you notes (they're on the list, I swear!) but, it was lovely.  Then came the craziest of all crazy weeks- it went a little something like this:

Day 15: Recovered from the birthday party (and all it's assorted madness) and then finished up (RIGHT!- I think the force of that lie just caused a blood vessel in my head to explode!) my Christmas shopping.  That right there, Christmas shopping, is ridiculous!  Seriously.  Why do we do this to ourselves- every.year.  You think that as a species, we'd evolve.  erggg.  (that's right- you'll find me out- tomorrow- finishing up (!@$#@$) the Christmas shopping.  In the 85 feet of snow that was dumped over my house this weekend. for fun.)

Day 16: Carter's real birthday.  Part of the reason for my severe procrastination in blogging this week was due to the overwhelmingly sentimental post that I *wanted* to dedicate to my boy on his very first birthday.   I spent the better part of two days, dreaming up eloquent prose* that would serve to excuse (at least a little bit of) my regular, snarky jabs toward my youngest.  Instead, I made the hubbs take us out to dinner.  And I ate like it was MY birthday- because, well because I made him, and that counts!

*Turns out that I'm even worse at 'eloquent prose' than I am at all this other babble, so, yeah. didn't happen.  SHOCKER!

Day 17:  Hold on to your panties, ladies.  On Day 17, mama had herself a date night.  Now, before you go getting all excited about Patton and I hitting the town- I should tell you, upfront, he was not invited.  This date night was all about the "Awesome new BFF" and I getting out, sans babies and hitting the town (and hit it we did!  matter-of-fact: we smacked that town square in her pretty little face!).  We've known each other now SIX MONTHS (I know, and she keeps coming around- poor thing!) and this was our first opportunity to speak both in full sentences and without spelling out the naughty words.  Oh, and wine....and gin and tonics (mee too!)...but we do that at all our play-dates- It's a two drink minimum around here!
I digress-  We went out, ate some great food, divulged all our dirty little secrets, and NOT ONCE did we talk about the babies.  We just took mommy-dating to a whole new level.

Day 18: I nursed the first hangover I've had in, what feels like, years.  Then I rallied for yet another company holiday party.  "yea."-said in complete and utter monotone. But this one, much like the last one, was far better than I could have anticipated.  Wanna know why?  Gonna tell you- we won stuff at this one too!  Someone needs to send us lotto tickets or something- we are on FIRE lately!  Seriously- this is just too shitty to even say.... in the company raffle, Patton and I won a Wii.  I know, right?!?!  We really are not this lucky. ever.
(Totally unrelated side-note: I feakin' love Wii boxing!)* Re.Diculous.

*Dear FCC, I was not paid for this endorsement.  No part of Nintendo or their overpriced gaming company has compensated me in anyway.  In fact, 48 hours ago- I would have laughed in the face of anyone accusing me of paying $50 for a video game.  Tomorrow, however is a TOTALLY different story.  Sincerely, C.

Day 19:  The sky fell in -or- Welcome to the Snowpocalypse -or- snOMG 2009!
Here in the greater DC metro area, the magical machine in the sky that keeps all order and balance in the world broke.  alot.  and it snowed.  a-really-freakin-lot.
We already had snow once this month, and around here, that pretty much does it for the month of December, but nooooooooooo...
Now, I'm not generally a narcissist, but in this case I'm gonna go ahead and state that the 18 feet inches (seriously, not an exaggeration) of life halting precipitation that was dumped on my house this weekend is due entirely to the fact that I'm hosting Christmas meals for two families in 5 days and have shopped for neither gift nor food for either.
But on the bright side, there was this:

and this:

and these guys:

And, really- what more do you need!?!

Day 20: In case you're keeping track, Day 20 looked exactly like the pictures above (mostly because the pictures used in describing Day 19's Snow-a-poloza were actually taken today. on Day 20.  The end.

Monday, December 14, 2009

1 is One...

Days 12-14 of the 25 Days (shut up, I was busy!)

I can tell this is going to be a crap post, mostly because I've been procrastinating it in a fashion befitting a LIT 201 midterm.
The weekend was great- it was the boy's birthday party, but somehow I can't get all snarky and excited about recounting it for you- except,  Ooooh.... I know!

PHOTO MONTAGE!  (niiiiiicccceee..... )
With out further ado- I give you:

The kid was a champ- He knew exactly what to do with the guests, the cake, and the gifts- OH, The GIFTS! It was a perfect little occasion enveloped in love.
Endless thanks to all of wonderful friends and family who joined us for this amazing milestone!

Friday, December 11, 2009

It's a "Lout Noyyyyyyse"

Day 11 of The 25 Days...

This was KILLING me today!  I think I made her say it 800 times... What are kids for, if not to endlessly entertain with their kid-like, kid-ness!?!

Happy Weekend!
See you Monday with the recap of Carter's First Birthday!!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Cocoa Picnic

Day 10 of the "25 days of quit procrastinating and effing blog about it" extravaganza

Disclaimer: It's Christmas time.  And around here that means I get to pump my kids full of all kinds of ridiculous junk that I would otherwise avoid like the plague.  I mean, really- I'm the one that hangs out with them from the time they wake up until the moment i can no longer tolerate the whining they go to bed, so I make an effort to keep the crap food in check.  Seriously, the last thing I need in my day is a two year old all cracked out on sugar dough and hot chocolate...
That said, welcome to
The Demers Family Annual Sugar Dough and Cocoa Picnic!*
Complete with SUGAR! and Dough! and CHOCOLATE in all varieties!

*Because, secretly, I hate calm well behaved children that sleep through the night

A few notes on the above picture:

  1. That is NOT a plate of meatballs despite it's meat-ball-ish-ness appearance, it is instead a very poor representation of Monkey Balls Bread
  2. Please note the distressed look of longing on my poor son's face- he really, REALLY wants the meatballs
  3. Sofie on the other hand really, REALLY wants to dig the soggy marshmallows out of her cocoa.  Which makes me totally want to curl up into the fetal position and rock myself...
  4. Yes, the animals are wearing scarves.  Shut up.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Day 9 of The 25 days

Without getting into it (and i promise, I will TRY get into it- SOON) I am currently hyper-focused on amateur trend spotting, and have taken WITH VIGOR! an interest in window shopping (the cyber-version, that is).
Can I just say that I can NOT GET ENOUGH of the fashion!!  Who knew there was such adorable stuff out there in the world of STORES! and SHOPPING! and GENERAL PLACES OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE!

Check it:





I want to be those pictures.

Aaaakkkkkk!  I just need a million dollars.  And a personal shopper, and someone to lay my clothes out for me at night, oh, and also another someone to hold the babies while I get dressed.  And then I need some where to go.  

...too much?  I mean, the fat guy in the red suit has powers right?  

Photos courtesy of:
Banana Republic

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

C is for Cookie! and also Camel! (but, that last part is unrelated...)

Day 8 of the infuriatingly long 25 days of quit procrastinating and effing blog about it:

Allow me to introduce you to the best thing I've made in YEARS (not really, but they are delicious and they don't loose their minds every time I put them down for 4 seconds to go to the bathroom, so... they're certainly in contention- Do you HEAR that, son!?! ...ahem, where was I?)  Aaaaahhhh, yes:

Shortbread Stars with Cinnamon Icing:
go now. and make them.

1 cup softened butter
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
pinch of salt

Preheat oven to 375.  Cream together butter and sugar.  Add salt and slowly add flour to combine.  Turn dough out onto floured parchment, sprinkle with additional flour and top with another sheet of parchment.  Roll to 1/4 to 1/2 inch thickness.  Pop it in the freezer for a few minutes to stiffen the butter.  Using a small-ish cookie cutter dipped in flour, quickly cut shapes and arrange on cookie sheet.  Return uncut dough to freezer until ready to cut and bake.  Bake 7-9 minutes or until the edges start to brown

While the cookies cool make a Cinnamon Icing
Melt 1/2 cup of butter in a micowave safe dish.  Add 1/4 cup heavy cream, 2 cups of powdered sugar,  and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon extract-beat until creamy.  Ice cool cookies with warm-ish icing- and try your hardest not to eat EVERY.SINGLE.LAST.ONE!

This Post was inspired by Evolving Mommy and her virtual Cookie Exchange.

Cookie Exchange 2009 banner

These Cookies were inspired by Tongue-N-Cheeky and her INSANE infatuation with cinnamon extract.

This video was inspired by my dishwasher- who is endlessly grateful for a night off- thanks to the boy.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Best work party ever. (so far. (this year.))

Day 7 of the 25 days posting extravaganza-

Ah, Christmas Party Season.  It makes me feel a little bit stabby.  All the ironing, and paying babysitters, and fake smiling, and pretending you care about that really great convention in [insert lame ass city here].  bleh.  But, what are you going to do....I'm pretty sure a spouse's company holiday party falls into the "death and taxes" category.  So, Onward!

The first of many holiday soirees, for the 2009 season, was this past weekend.  What is interesting to me is that this year's parties have very nicely arranged themselves in order of reverse importance.  For example, party one was a "take it or leave it" deal from the start (if I'm being honest, I was way heavy in the "leave it" camp). I tried hard to swing things in my favor by conveniently "forgetting" to mention it to any potential sitter until the day before, but, as fate would have it, we magically ended up with not one great sitter but THREE who were willing to (nay, INSISTING ON) the drive over the river and through the snow to hang out with our babies.

So I ironed, left cash for the sitters, greased up the chompers in preparation for a nice long evening of cheek numbing grin-age, and made it almost all the way through some guy's FASCINATING story about the Spleen Doctors* convention in San Something or another** over Columbus Day Weekend*** before politely excusing myself to the bar for "ANOTHER GLASS BOTTLE OF WINE, GOOD BARTENDER, STAT!"

Please note that ~ that little squiggle right there is precisely the point in this story that my tune changes.  Because, hindsight being all that it is, I can look back and say, really, it was

Here's where I'd enter all the delightful details, but I'll spare you the foreplay and get right down to it... We looked good, the food was FAB, and, you guys, WE.WON.PRIZES!

(For the record, we are not EVER the people that win stuff.  I can't say that either the hubbs or myself have ever been caller 10 on the radio, gotten the opportunity to shout "BINGO!", or picked the right pony at the track, AND I've been getting that Publishers Clearing House "You've may have already won Eleventy-Frillion Dollars" notice for decades and still? NOTHING!  But back to me putting my stilettoed heel in my mouth....)

Right, PRIZES!  I haven't even told you what they are yet, and I'm not one to look a gift horse [see also: PRIZES!] in the mouth, but this may have been one of those every-fly-chasing-daisy-picking-uncoordinated-8-year-old-who-can-put-his-jersy-on-right(and of course even those who cant!) gets-a-trophy-for-showing-up kind of situations, but wanna know what has two thumbs and doesn't mind in the least:  this girl.

In the Greatest Raffle That Ever Was, not only did I walk away with a 20lb gift basket of chocolate covered things (mmmm...chocolate-y things...) but, Patton won what may possibly be the greatest gift one could ever receive from an impartial third party (except of course for that Eleventy-Frillion Dollars): a SUBSTANTIAL gift card for a MAID SERVICE!
I know. RIGHT!! Genius Gift Giving.

So anyway, wanna know what I'm doing as soon as the masses retreat after the holidays (that's right, I said AFTER-this gift is all mine, bitches!)?  Sitting my lazy ass down with a 20lb basket of bon bons and letting somebody else take a toothbrush to the toilet bowl!
SNAP! It just got all "Real Housewives of Annandale" up in here!!

*The very boring variety of doctor has been changed to an equally boring variety of doctor to protect the anonymity of the story teller
**to my knowledge there is no such place-if I am mistaken I greatly apologize to the good citizens of San Something
***It wasn't over Columbus Day, but now that we've gotten this far, I'm not really sure it matters... so, yeah.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Snow place like home for the holidays (LAME, very very lame, SORRY)

Days 5 & 6 of the 25 days:  Snow Days!!

You guys! It SNOWED!!!

But, let me be clear, because in this area that can mean a lot of things...
When Bob Ryan calls for snow, the general expectation is for something between a slightly white-ish rain, microscopic flakes of cold that instantly disappear upon entering the atmosphere, fat wet balls of hard water that quickly turn to slush (or as I like to call it- traffic halting sign of the apocalypse), or, every 85 leap-years or so, we'll actually get two inches of packable, throwable SNOW.

Saturday we got enough of the real stuff to:
1.  Cover the trees in that awesome frosty dream-like state
2.  Make the season actually feel festive
3.  Finally motivate me to finish putting up the holiday decorations
4.  (and this is the big one!) Make an honest-to-goodness SNOWMAN*
Look at it:

*So, I obviously use the term loosely, because clearly I really mean "make an honest-to-goodness-hideous-muddy-leaf-encrusted-stuff-of-nightmares-man," but we take what we can get around here.

Friday, December 4, 2009

4 of 25 -OR- I'm starting to bore myself.

Day FOOOOOOOOUUUURRRR of the 25 days of quit procrastinating and effing blog about it.
Day ONE of bringing you absolutely NOTHING substantive and wondering what-the-mess I've gotten myself into.

But, back to ornaments (because they are simply riveting!)

I know, right!?! You HAVE to have one...

I'm thinking we'll start an etsy shop*

*Child labour laws be damned!

Thursday, December 3, 2009


Day Three of the 25 days, and only a whole freak-load more to go!

Today's advent activity was to make salt-dough ornaments.
It went a little something like this:

Wanna play along???  Here you go.

Salt-Dough Ornament Recipe
(a compilation of many recipes found on the great wide interweb)

2c. Flour
1c. Salt
1c. Water

Preheat oven to 250 degrees.  Mix together all ingredients in a large bowl.  When the dough begins to stiffen, kneed until smooth and moist but not sticky (add additional flour if the dough sticks to hands). Turn out onto floured work surface and roll to 1/4" thickness.  Use holiday cookie cutters to shape dough ornaments and embellish using a toothpick. Using a straw, punch out a hole at the top of each shape for stringing.  Place ornaments on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake for an hour and a half or until firm and dry, but not yet browned. Allow to cool completely before coloring or painting.  String with ribbon, hang and ENJOY!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Oooooh. This is going to be tough.

Day two of the 25 days and I'm already at a loss.
So, here. Three quick stories:

1.  Today I willfully and violently threw my 26 month old daughter in the face every child labor law ever enacted.  But listen, she's been freeloading for over two years now, and seriously, there are just things that need doing around here.  She kept whining every time I made her push the wheelbarrow, so I had her hand carry wood from the shed to the house.  It was going along swimmingly, until she tripped and smooshed her finger.  I'll set the scene:
back yard, pre-rain; <45 degrees F:
Sofie: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! BUhu, buhuuuuh, buuhuuuuh...."
Me: What now you whiney little baby  "Oh, Honey- what happened??!?"
Sofie:  "Mama... yofie. smooshed. finger. that one." *sniff *sniff*
Me: Aaaaand what exactly would you like me to do about it  "Oooooh, sweetie, shall I kiss it and make it better?"
Sofie: "Yeaah-huh. Mama. Kiss. Yofie. Finger.  Riiighttheeeerre."  (fyi- "right there" is ALWAYS one word- it's stupidly cute)
Me: "MUAAAAH!  Now, back to work" ::pat's bottom:: "that wood's not going to stack itself."

1b.  Then I made her string the tree with lights.  BTW-I highly recommend children to anyone feeling overwhelmed by tedious house chores.  They are magical.  And by magical, I mean next to worthless- but sometimes they say cute stuff... so, there's that.

2.  Carter exhibited a new skill today- it's one of those milestones that, as a parent, you know will set the stage for his whole life to come.
...yea, clink it buddy.  Invaluable life skills, I'm telling you.

3.  I have finally made the big league, you guys!  This blog (and this humble writer) are going ALL.THE.WAY!
...well, actually, some of the way? maybe?
I just got my first solicitation from a company asking that I plug their product on this here little blog.   I'm sure they think that all 4 of you that actually read this thing would be WAY interested in their product.  But, because I totally respect your integrity, and also because I may want to use this as fodder for a post when I run out of VERY EXCITING things to tell you down the road, I'm saving the details for later... maybe.

There.  Day 2. CHECK.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

25 Days of Quit Procrastinating and Effing Blog About It -or- how to effectively OVERuse the strikethrough button

::whispers::  bloggies, can you read me?  come in, over??
i don't have much time- my position has been invaded by miniature head-hunters (with fistfulls of cheerios), compromised- but this message is important...
cool, noteworthy, Some sh*t is going on in this undisclosed location.  My mission, as I choose to accept it, is as follows: Observe and (and here's the kicker) report said cool sh*t on a daily, regular basis...
I know, right?!?! Ridiculous notion, especially for someone as notoriously terrible about this whole blogging thing as I- but none-the-less a goal I'm willing to half-ass my way through, give the good old college try*, really really work toward.
I figure that by stating it here, I'll hold myself a little more accountable to you my dear readers, reader, mom.

So, on to it-
  • There was a Dead, Stuffed Bird in my House Thanksgiving. It was good.  I will no longer bitch about the pants that weren't fitting, as this is no longer an issue in my life- thank you very much, second, third, 5th helping of stuffing.
  • Unrelated- what's your overall opinion of SPANX??  Just asking, you know, for no reason  in particular.
  • Fun Fact:  I really like setting the table.  Here, look at it.
  • My children have really been pressuring me, begging me, totally disinterested in my sudden motivation to CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAY SEASON!  COUNTDOWN THE DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS!  ENJOY THE MAGIC OF THIS PARTICULAR TIME OF YEAR!... er, whatever.
  • Here's the advent calendar I lovingly made for them, (who am I kidding!?!) ME!

My plan to keep this mostly daily posting thing going is to entertain, inspire, bore you to tears with the details of our daily advent activities.  You're welcome!  ...and see you tomorrow!

*Remind me to tell you about my patented definition of the "college try" (spoiler: it looks a whole lot more like trying a lot of colleges than trying hard in college)  But that is a story for another day (and lord knows there are plenty of them coming up!)

alright, you guys, you.  over and out!

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